When I was a kid I was a misfit, I did not fit in with my peers. I was never part of an "in" crowd and was bullied from a very young age because I was different! I did make a few friends and some have been there for a very long time.
Once I found the SCA (in my mid 20's) I found a whole organization full of misfits, outcast and weirdos who understood me and who I understood. It was a new world and I could not believe I had found a place I belonged.
I made many friends and love them all, many became family to me and that made life worth living. But now it seems that I am back to the start. I no longer am appreciated or welcome in the SCA, my long time friends who have been like family to me no longer understand me or have my back. I am alone and outcast again.
I am lucky, at least I am not completely alone since I now have a husband who loves me and who I love and after 30 years we are still holding hands in the car so I am not destitute and on my own, but the friends who once stood by my side no matter what and who wanted me to be part of their lives and who understood how I felt and thought...they have all disappeared or worse, become people who are against me in almost all things!
It makes me very sad and very hurt.