I knew when my son came to live with us after he got out of prison that he was playing us. But I love him and he needed us, even if he hated me and did everything he could to hurt me. Steal my stuff, break my stuff. But he is my son and I love him so I put up with it all.
Now he is very sick and he is still playing us and doing all he can to make my life miserable, no matter how much we do for him or how much I hurt because of the pain he is in.
I told him at least a year ago that I really wanted a picture of the 2 of us together, but he is not willing to even do that. He is happy to take selfies but not be in a picture with me. Well I no longer want it, when he dies I will only have the very few picture of him as a kid, and only I think 2 with me. Bu at this point I have put all of those in a box and I may never look at them again!
Clearly I failed completely as a parent and have to accept that he hates me and nothing I ever do will change that!