Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Love is that fragile flower of the most uncommon beauty. One which can never be found by purpose alone while wandering through life's gardens, yet one whose color and fragrance is most pure and meaningful when discovered by accident while tending to the more mundane duties of the common man. A diamond found lying quietly amongst the broken glass of childhood's shattered windows.
To love another is the supreme sacrifice of self, For one must give freely and completely of themself to another, unconditional... without any reservation. To give less serves only to sabotage the evolution from self sustaining isolation to a greater joining of intimate awareness.
Love defies generalizations. Poets, philosophers, theologians, and countless others have ascribed their own theories and interpretations but often they still fall short of the goal of capturing the true nature of this unfathomable entity. The strength of love lies in its diversity. It possesses the unique ability to evolve, change, and permutate over the course of our lives. Just as we grow outwardly we must also grow inwardly. Our thoughts, realizations, and perceptions are given credence by our individual experiences on the separate paths we follow in our quest for love. And as love is an integral part of our inner selves, so it must grow and mature as well. It possesses the ability to adapt to its internal as well as its external environment. It not only changes as we change but it also ebbs and flows, unlike the steady tide of the seas, outwardly dependent on the receptivity of those to whom it is directed.
During certain periods of our lives love may seem to fade or even disappear entirely from our emotional palette. But once conceived it never truly ceases to exist. Love is the ultimate survivor. It has a will to live as strong as the will of its human container. If necessary, it may hibernate, withdraw like a turtle into its shell. When it is rebuffed or rejected by the harshness and cold complacency which can be so common in others, it folds in on itself until which time it again feels safe to venture out into a more nurturing environment. But it does not die.
We say we fall in love but this isn't right... we don't fall anywhere, we simply open our hearts and allow the love inside to project its energy towards the heart of another. If it is well received and properly tended, it creates a spiritual bond between the two hearts. However, love is an individualized emotion. It is a part of who we are and just as no two people share the exact same emotional make-up, neither can they share totally identical expressions of their love for one another. The beauty of a strong and viable relationship is seen when two souls meet and the colors of their love complement each other.
We are in love when we can find that fragile state of being where our individual love demands no more than the other person can give and when we can provide the necessary energies to allow them to be fulfilled as well. Love cares nothing for equality but it insists on balance. That balance is possible only when both people are satisfied that their own expectations and needs in a relationship are being adequately provided for.
It is our duty to our mate and our responsibility to ourselves to make clear the window to our souls. Love thrives on communication and tolerance. That which we desire and that which we can accept as a reasonable equivalent must be verbalized or otherwise made unmistakably apparent to our lover. Understanding and compromise are the banquets on which love feasts. And conversely, assumption and an unyielding insistence on prerequisites for our love are the sabers which will inevitably sever the emotional bond that love provides.
We are merely passengers on our ship of destiny and love is the compass that guides our journey through life. Whether it is love for another human being, a cherished goal, or a desire to find completeness and meaning to our lives bears little consequence on the necessity for following the course that love charts. Love cannot live comfortably in a vacuum. It must be allowed free reign and be given the opportunity to explore beyond the confining walls of self-protection which we construct as barriers to the ravages of life. It is the flagship of our soul and the purveyor of our most cherished dreams of a purposeful existence. Love we hide or hold back from others out of fear is love wasted. It is of no value to us when held inside but can increase in value a hundredfold when shared with another like minded individual or when directed towards a greater aspiration beyond our own selfish needs.
Love's reality, like beauty, is held solely in the eyes of the beholder. And love's vision, if we must transpose a physical sense upon a non-physical entity, is crystal clear. It seeks that which coincides appropriately with its own desires. It is not foolproof, nor is it always accurate in striking close to the heart of its target. Nevertheless, it is an essential component of our soul's repertoire and must be given the autonomy it requires to seek out that which holds promise to provide the needed sustenance for its own growth.
We are more than often left wanting, unfulfilled and incomplete, in our usual interactions with the vast majority of those we meet in our lives... but that takes nothing away from love's dream of compassionate surrender to the possibilities for the future, and therein lies the instinct for love's survival, and perhaps our own. It presents itself as a determination to force us through the frailties of mortal existence... obligating us to maintain an uncompromising optimism towards the realization of spiritual completeness that may lie dormant but aware in the souls of others we encounter along the way.
Love is the source of the most extreme short term emotions. Periodically, it is the most painful and dangerous sensation imaginable. You’ll cry harder then you thought possible, you will think dark, poisonous thoughts. However... it is the source of the purest pleasure you will ever experience. A brief conversation, look, or moment of physical contact, and you’re off, eyes glazed, head full of fluff, and with a stupid grin plastered over your face... but these are fleeting, ephemeral emotions. Many people mistake these feelings for love, think that their despair and hatred proves their love, or that the buzzing sense of joy is all that love is. But these feelings are only the consequences of love.
Love is not words, or actions, it is not crushing despair or rapturous joy... it is simply a state of being, and one that feels as effortless and natural as breathing. When you are with your love you feel impossibly at ease, and when he or she is absent you feel distant, distracted and incomplete. You may find it difficult to identify the cause of these feelings, so intrinsic and instinctive have your emotions become. It is easy to notice the intense and extreme sensations, but the more subtle, true emotions can be missed if you aren’t careful.
Love is a choice to do the highest good for someone. Love is the bond of perfectness... love is the perfect glue. Love is noble and idealistic. Love is the highest of all the virtues.
Love is for givers, not getters. Those who demand to be loved before they will love shouldn’t be surprised if no one gives them love. Lovers live in a world of giving. The getters, the ones who are looking for love, is a different world. We have a duty to love, but we have no guarantees that we will be loved. We have it in our power to love, but we have no power to force others to love us. It is folly to spend life demanding love from others. If we are true lovers, our entire mindset is in a giving mode. There is no place for bemoaning the ways others neglect us.
Love requires the giving of ones’ self to another. It involves an element of self-depletion, self-exhaustion. Love is empathic. It puts itself in someone else’s shoes. Love seeks to understand. Love cares. It does not pre-judge. It does not pass sentences. Love does not jump to conclusions. Love does not throw down ultimatums. Love does not declare war on its object. Love is tender, it is kind, it is forgiving.
Love can build a bridge across great divides. Love is more powerful than any other force, because love stands for the best interest. Love will only do good. Love will do no evil. Love is the most irresistible force known to humanity.
Sometimes... I ask myself... "Is there anyone out there for me?" quite often I start to think "No, no there isn't" however... saying that to myself is unfair. There is someone out there for me... they are probably several people out there for me... I just need to find one of them. First though, I have to stop moping around, I have to give up the life of feeling bad because I don't have anyone... I'll never have anyone if I don't get over that and move on. Yes, there IS someone out there for me, there IS someone out there for ALL of us. Written by Ryan Mercer (one of my "adopted" sons).
"Amor Dormant", 8 1/2 x 11, Acrylic and watercolor colored pencil on illustration board. One of my long time favorites. The first of my pictures to sell out as a limited print.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Signs and Portents

OK, maybe just a sign. Last year I did this large (Queen size sheet, I think) sign for a local art store. I have stuff in the shop and wanted to help them promote the store. This hangs outside the store over one of the garage doors (the shop is a converted 2 car garage). Acrylic on blue sheet.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Artist Trading Cards

There is apparently a new thing where artists do tiny 3 1/2 x 2 1/2 pictures on cards and trade them. While the "official" information about these say they are to be traded and not sold, some artists of course sell them as well. Since I enjoy doing small pictures, I had to get some of these cards to try my hand at. I have no idea what to do on these but decided to just try a small nude (I know, me doing a nude, what a shock). So here is my first Artist Trading Card (it may get traded or sold, or kept). "Black and Red Nude", Micron pen, Acrylic and watercolor colored pencil on Bristol art card. Picture 51.

Failed Card Design

We usually have two designs for our cards each Christmas and you have seen one of the possible designs for this year on this Weble. Here is one I tried and my husband didn't like so much. He said, "It make me think of a Jewish 2001 movie." I can see that, but Jesus was Jewish... If it was a Jewish 2001 movie, would the scene with them seeing into the monolith have them saying , "My goodness, it's full of...Matzah!" LOL "Blue Star Baby card" I was trying for the cut paper look on this to some degree. Picture 50.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Cover or Not

I have been commissioned to do a cover for a book. Don't get to excited , its a private commission by the author and not by a publishing company so it's not going to make me rich or famous. It is a great story and I hope the cover helps sell the book and that it is what the author wants. So far, it has had some miner reworking (I hope it won't need anything more or major). I will also be designing some logo style symbols for his space ships and Intergalactic governments. If he gives me permission I will give you more info on the book, but for now, here is the cover (I hope) for "Starstruck".

Feedback and comments are really wanted on this one. I don't do technical/space/SciFi that much and I know it is not as crisp as it maybe should be. 49

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Cross Posting...

OK, that i an odd line for a Vampyre to write...but in this case I am talking about posting stuff on more than one site at the same time. I post on FurAfinity as I have said a few times before and I try not to post the same thing here as there or vice versa. But on occasion I will give them and you the same thing. In this case I just posted the art I did for an old business card and since I still have and still love the picture I decided to post it here as well.

Here is another of my bat boys. This one was done as a business card back in 1997. I have done many pictures to use as business cards but this is one of my favorites. It wasn't the best card (not enough room for all the words I wanted to put on it) but as art, I was very happy with it. The ball he is holding has my logo in it. This is 11 x 6 done in my usual media on my usual stuff. "Vampyre; Treasure in the Mist".

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Christmas Maybe

OK, here is one of the possible cards for this year. It is not what I originally planed but due to the space, size and proportions required for the cards and my own poor planing, this is what I came up with. I like it and it will do fine as a card, it's just not at all what I had hoped to do. Ah well. "Winter Angel", 7 1/4 x 11, Acrylic, watercolor colored pencil and Pro White on Canson board.
Picture 48

Sunday, September 20, 2009

SCA Project

I am the Arts and Sciences Champion for my local SCA group and because of that it was my duty to represent the Barony at an event this past Saturday. The theme of the competition was Lida's Twins, these would be Castor and Pollux the Gemini twins. I did a box (painted it) and a medallion. The box is 8 1/2 x 8 1/2 and the medallion (also wood) is a 1 3/4 circle. The box was based on a manuscript page from the 15th or 16th century France. The medallion is based on a manuscript page from the 12th century, England.
Picture 46 and 47 for the year.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Different Art

This is an art weble and I will post mostly my own stuff here. But occasionally I will post the art of others, friends, inspirations, etc. This is not visual art (though you can watch it) it is singing. This kids voice is like an angel and if I can get a CD of him I will be thrilled. He is from Britain's Got Talent (apparently more than America does), enjoy!

Christmas Card Maybe

I have several things I should be working on so of course my brat of a Muse decided he had to inspire something else. I got two great books for my Birthday, one is "The Art of Michael Parkes II" and the other is "J.C. Leyendecker", both amazing artists who's work has and is influencing mine. Anyway, I did this (not to the right proportions of course) with the idea of using it as one of my Christmas Card designs for this year. It is inspired by Mr. Parkes later works and I really like it and plan to do more with this style. In case it doesn't become a card, here is "Angel with Red Star", 8 1/2 x 11 Acrylic, watercolor colored pencil, marker and Pro White on Canson board. 45

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Halloween is Coming!

One of my all time favorite holidays is Halloween! It was more so when I was doing a Haunted House with my friend Jon Westcot. Those were some of the best months of Halloween I ever had and I would LOVE to have that again. Anyway, my love of Vampyres, Halloween and children combined to make art such as this. It was done for my book "NightChild" and was black and white originally but here is the colored version (which I love). I used to own a Kimono made of material much like what the boy is laying on. While he does not look like my son, he still reminds me of Joey. "Bat Nap" black and white printed on Goldenrod card stock and painted with Acrylic, 8 1/2 x 11.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Sulutions for Bad Planning

I started a picture on a scrap piece of illustration board and then found that what I had drawn looked great but really needed to be longer to make it look it's best. I had no larger pieces of illustration board and did not want to try to redraw the picture anyway (I hate trying to do something over it never comes out right for me). So I found a smaller scape of illustration board that would make the picture about 1/3rd larger. I stuck it up against the bottom of the picture, drew the rest of the figure and background continuing from my original piece, and it was perfect. Now I had the dilemma of how to make this look like one picture. Gluing or taping the smaller bottom part to the rest was not going to work. First I painted and finished the picture, then I decided to cut the larger top 2/3rds in half. After I did that, I laid all 3 parts on a slightly larger piece of black mat board and left an equal space between each part. I liked it so I glued them down, matted the whole thing and I think it sold it's first time being shown at a convention. This was many years ago, but I was very pleased with the end result and may have to intentionally do this for a picture. The effect is somewhat stained glass (partly my stylization of the cloth and figure and partly the black bands). So here is "Adrift on the Sea of Dreams" I am guessing it was about 8 x 16 . I did scan the inked picture before it was painted and mounted and took out the line between the parts. I have a hand colored print version like that but it doesn't have the same feel or charm as the original.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Day After my Birthday

Since my birthday fell on Thursday this year, and my husband has choir practice and visits his parents on Thursdays, my "celebration" will be this weekend. And so, I can post another picture just because it's a favorite of mine. "Leaf Wing" was done as a black and white but just screamed for color. I adore this picture! The leaves and the pose and just everything about it makes me happy with it. It was printed on "goldenrod" cardstock and then hand colored with Acrylic.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me

Well it's my birthday, September 10th. I am 53 today, boy that sounds old but I don't feel old. I will always be an 8 year old inside. I thought about posting a picture of me with one of my kid friends, or a picture of my son (when he was little). I considered several of my favorite pictures but I have decided that since I dislike pictures of myself I would post something else that represents me. In the SCA (and in general when talking about heraldry) your Arms (heraldic symbol) represent you. So here is the top of a Jewelry box I painted with my accomplishment of Arms in a Renaissance style.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Reworked Old Art

This was done maybe in the early 80's in marker and colored pencil. It was washed out and faded and not quite as good as I would have liked. But I was happy enough to hold onto it and another card that went with it. The original idea was to do a Tarot deck with African children as the figures for the different cards. I decided to refresh the color and salvage this one (I still may do the same with the other one). So I put a 2008 copyright on it as it is sorta new. It would be better if I did it over and I may someday, but for now this is "Strength" African Tarot concept card, 5 1/2 x 8, marker, watercolor colored pencil, Prisma Color, Acrylic on brown mat board.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Not What I am Supposed to be Doing!

I have several things (some even paying) that I SHOULD be working on but this is what I did yesterday and today. The inspiration for it hit me and I had to do it. It is picture number 44 for 2009. "Minotaur", 8 1/2 x 11 , Acrylic and watercolor colored pencil on Canson board. The background is based on pictures from the Palace of Minos.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Not Christmas Yet

I hate when the adds and decorations in stores start for Christmas before Halloween! But in this case I am showing an old Christmas card design because this is the time of year I have to start thinking about what this years card will look like. I have to do the art soon if I am to get it to the printer, back and sent out by Thanksgiving. "Wolf Wreath", 8 1/2 x 5 1/2 on Illustration board. Done in Pigma pen colored with Acrylics.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Cover Idea Help

OK, I still have the writing to do for this book but it looks like "Fey Folk" my book featuring Elf art, will be my next one published/printed. I had the cover idea of "Elven Sailor" several years ago when I first was putting this book together. However, I have done several new Elf related pictures in the years since and will be adding them to the book and removing some older less good works. I also have a couple other cover ideas. "First Frost" being one I really love and think might make a good cover. Here are the two cover ideas I currently am considering. Please help me by giving your opinion of which you think would be the better cover.

Hard to Keep Up

Nothing new but this one was very popular when I first did it. "Stone Ecstasy" not sure of the size (under 8 1/2 x 11) Acrylic and watercolor colored pencil on mat board.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

New Art, Finally

Finally after what seems like forever, I am able to draw again. The poison ivy is cleared up on my hands enough to let me work again. This is just sorta a practice picture just so I could be sure I could do something without any problems from the poison ivy. He is a Tiger teen being a bit shy. "Don't Peek!", 8 1/2 x 11 Acrylic, watercolor colored pencil and pigma pens on Canson board. Now I can get back to getting some art I need to get done done. Picture 43.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Equality the Exception

With rare exception, this Weble is NOT about what I think or feel about anything other than art. This is the exception! My husband and I have been together 25 years, we are not recognised as a couple by the Government, we do not have the same rights as our straight friends and our marriage is not protected/recognised by the State! SO, October 10-11 is when a March on Washington is happening and I ask anyone who is Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgendered or have friends or family who are to please come to DC and make it clear we ALL deserve the same rights! My 25 year committed relationship is worth just as much as ANY straight persons marriage and I deserve the same rights as they have!

"Gay Celts in Love", hand colored print.