Sorry to post so much, but a friend just made me think about my son. He is 24 now, possibly in trouble with the law and we haven't seen or heard from him in 4 years. When he was little every minute with him was a joy for me and I could not believe how lucky I was to have a husband and a son who loved me so much. I guess you only get so much joy in your life. I appreciate what I had and I miss it but the love is still there and will never change, even if pain, time and distance make it hard.
I did this picture back when Joe was 8 or 9. He was a real tosser and turner in his sleep and his pajamas always ended up half off him. I took a photo of him asleep one morning and did this picture from it. I love you son wherever you are.
"I guess you only get so much joy in your life"
ReplyDeletesometimes i think that too. but you do have a husband. and friends. though it will not take the place of a son.
i feel that way since well it seems slowly everything i ever had in my life i was proud of about myself gets taken away and i can do less and less. and of course i worry for us all in these times.
Tristan (and akirashima):
ReplyDeleteI must humbly disagree. Feeling that one only gets so much joy in one's life implies that there is a finite amount of joy in the world and that each of us is alloted only a set amount of it for our lives.
Bull$#!+ !!
That is such a fatalistic attitude, and it's utter nonsense. "Joy" is not a carefully balanced and meted out commodity; it's not some zero-sum game! Joy can be found everywhere! It's one's attitude that keeps one from realizing it. Joy can be something as simple as a deep breath of sweetly scented air, the tickle of an animal's whisker on one's leg, the laugh of a child. Or it can be something deeply profound, such as the unconditional love of another human being.
I don't know who coined the phrase originally, but I learned it from Spider Robinson, and it's something I try and apply daily: "Shared pain is lessened; shared joy is increased."
If you feel more pain in your life than joy, find someone -- a good friend, a spouse, a parent, a sibling, whomever -- in whom you can confide your pain. You will find that sharing your pain with someone else really does help to lessen it... or, at least, make it more bearable. And share with this person (or persons -- you're not limited to only one, you know!) your joys as well. You'll be surprised at how much more joyful they seem when shared with someone.
Okay, enough preaching from Jon for now.
Tristan:
ReplyDeleteI got so busy with my soapboxing there that I completely forgot to comment on your portrait. This one is just wonderful. It captures a sweet, tender, innocent moment in the life of your son. Thank you for sharing it with us all.
I pray that Joe is well and that, some day, he'll realize what amazing people he has in you and Don.
Jon
Jon, your points on joy are well taken but that doesn't mean that sometimes one doesn't FEEL like their is a limit to the Joy you get. Thankfully I look in a childs eyes, hear them laugh, see something beautiful and the Joy is there. My art can help me see it but I get it more from children (even stragers I only make eye contact with for a second) and from other people. I hope that somehow my art brings Joy to others at times.
ReplyDelete